I acknowledge a long absence from the world of blogging. Can you blame me? I’m not the most articulate person in the world, and frankly I’ve got better things to do after coming back from uni after a 12-13 hour day than talk about the academy. Since I finished a little earlier today, however, I’ll give it a quick bash.
I have found myself in my worst term so far on so many levels. Educationally and emotionally, I’ve been all over the place and I’ve been deeply unsatisfied with the experience I gained in the first month or so of my second year. Worse yet, I’ve struggled to find support from others in times of existential/theatrical crisis. It’s difficult to explain why (or even WHAT) I do what I do to my family, friends or my boyfriend, so I avoid that completely. In uni, I don’t want to wreck the ‘party’, and besides, negativity and cynicism breeds shit morale, and I could definitely do with less of that. The only, way, looking back, my brain hasn’t just been completely scrambled is through:
-UNRELENTING OPTIMISM, and
-ENJOYING THE LITTLE THINGS.
These are two sure-fire winners to struggling through our – albeit relatively simple -hardships (Also drinking far more than I have ever done in my few short years of alcoholism – but I could quit if I wanted to, yeah?). Reading Murakami, making Spotify playlists for people and keeping them for myself, racing round the opera school on micro-scooters, the walk from my boyfriend’s flat to uni in the mornings, inventing big, hearty dinners with enough for lunch the next day and cracking “your mum” jokes like there’s no tomorrow. This all keeps me at my reasonable level of sanity.
But I digress. I do need somewhere to vent. We all do. Which brings me back to what I was saying – where have the channels in which we should be able to properly admit our worries and angst? Maybe some of us (myself included, obviously) are just not looking hard enough, because I know I’m not the only person who’s felt a little unsupported these past few months. All I can suggest to myself and anyone else on the course is to:
MOAN A LITTLE TO YOUR PALS. MOAN A LOT TO THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE.
This is not to say Martin Aitken is not a very, very special and important young lad, but rather we should be focusing our complaints to those who are a lot more likely to be able to do something about it, rather than burdening each other with negative emotions. I have gotten a lot of encouragement and good advice from people on this course, and I’m glad I have them to bitch at, (and trust me, I’m always available to be bitched at) but in the end, they don’t have the control over the situation. Instead, let us relentlessly moan at anyone who receives a salary at the academy, it might even work. However, never forget that staying positive makes a shitty situation so much better.
In summary: “NEGATIVITY IS DEAD, LONG LIVE NEGATIVITY”.
Kind Regards,
Laura
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A list of goals…
even just a day away from uni has made me realise some important career (and othwerwise) goals I would love to acheive as soon as possible. I felt it would be best to archive these in some way, so here goes.
GOALS – CAREER OR OTHERWISE
-Learn to read music
-Learn to play the violin/harp (which would probably help the above and be pretty great in general)
-Learn to sew to a high degree (just like mum)
-Learn to drive!
-Give blood regularly
-Get my first aid certificate
-Get a decent haircut.
-Become a veritable human veggie cookbook.
i’m sure everyone can agree these are all very important resolutions in their own ways. I’d reflect on this stuff further, but frankly i don’t think i can get any deeper than what i just wrote (especially the last two)
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26/05/09 – 01/05/09
This week has been interesting and frustrating in equal measures.
On one hand, the character and play ‘concept’ development is really interesting and I’ve enjoyed the couple of rehearsals I’ve been to. I’ve always had to miss the verending journey for five of these blighters:early rehearsals for shows I usually have to join a production in the much later stages, which is a shame as it’s really fascinating to see how the cast and creative team shape the play into an actual factual SHOW. However, out of the rehearsal room I seem to be on a somewhat ne
this elusive breed of torch has led to me thinking into more obscure pastures where thinking is concerned – forget ‘thinking outside the box’ i feel like i’m thinking outside the UNIVERSE. I’ve phoned DIY shops, department stores, antique dealers, fire brigades, prop shops, events agencies. Next week my list is down to stables, garages and farms. I am determined to find five of these bad boys but my inspiration is running low. It’s one of the few props on our (terribly short) props list that will have to be borrowed and I’m wondering about when I’m just going to have to give up the search and pronounce my missing torches dead and gone. I think I’m going to have to go scrabbling around antique shops in person next week or change my tack when phoning people. I’m starting to think I’m not saying the right things. Ah well, best to experiment early!
I guess what this last week has made me think about is which ‘job’ I would prefer to be doing in the future – DSM or SM? Obviously it’d be quite difficult to do only one; it is also my belief that thinking of them as complete, seperate identities as counterproductive but it intrigues me nonetheless. Currently I’m really enjoying being OUT of the rehearsal room, running about and trying to get things ready and prepared for the future of the production. I’m actually a little bit glad I’m not at the SYT constantly, although that may just be because it is still early days as far as she show itself is concerned, so watching a scene being worked on for long periods of time with no function bores me. Anyways, this is something I am going to be thinking about a lot as the weeks tick by.
I’m still finding it really hard to reflect on anything that’s happening right now (as i’m sure you can tell just by reading ^that drivel^). Yes, there are lots of things to reflect on, but nothing worth reflecting about currently on this blog. In my opinion, we the stage management team are working together well and best of all, effortlessly, but the reason why is obvious to me – both Kieron and Anne are well organised and approachable (i’d like to think I am to some degree, too). There’s no complicated science to it. Not right now, anyway. I think the true challenge to our skills is yet to come, and as I begin to really work/learn on the show, reflection will come a bit easier.
I feel I should also write about Mahara and the Flip Video cameras we’ve been lent by the academy. I am looking forward to using them properly. I think the problem with both is knowing WHERE (and in mahara’s case, how) to use them. So far, I’ve recorded a couple of the actors working on developing their character, which I felt would be interesting as it allows us to understand the work and preperation an actor/ess must go through to do their job well. This realisation is important for us as crew as all too often we dismiss actor’s hard work and are less than accomodating to their wants/needs. I’m not by any means claiming my documentary of this session will change anyone’s views – it’s just not that brilliant – but you can get a real idea for people’s ‘craft’ and what it means to them.
Mahara on the other hand, leaves me completely cold. I don’t know if I just need to set more time aside and dedicate an evening to working on it, but right now I just don’t have the interest or passion for it to use its (obvious and great) potential. I log on to it a few times a week and try to navigate it. I think Wilkie’s suggestion on having a session on how to use it would be really beneficial.
I think I’m going to bed. I’m currently reading this before bed, and although it’s either too obsolete or american in places, it’s really interesting to read about another person’s methodology.
Laurax
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20/04/09 – 26/04/09
I’m trying to think how I would like to write this blog. I think I’ll just take the coward’s route and put everything under HANDY HEADINGS!!
THIS WEEK…
was very relaxed and quiet. We don’t have groundplans or references as of yet so anything we did was the most basic of prep work. It was a good way to get to know Kieron and Anne (SM and DSM respectively) and see how they work. They’ve been really good so far. very organised! I like Kieron’s idea for sending me weekly schedules. Obviously it’s likely there will be changes, but it’s good to know what we will be likely to have in store. Emm, we’ve got most of the rehearsal props looked out and we’re hoping to get groundplans and references so we can start doing some of our other stage-managery duties.
THE WEEKS AHEAD
I’ve been thinking about what I am going to try and take from this module and what I’ll hopefully gain in skills/knowledge. Ideally, I’ll be stalking Anne and Kieron and taking lots of notes, as obviously this time next year I’ll be in their shoes. Also, I’m aiming to improve my organisation skills too, as because we have to split our time between the SYT and uni, I need to make sure I keep my shit together, haha. I really want to have a go at making some props too, because my propmaking skills are fairly limited, and I haven’t really made anything since college, which finished nearly a year ago!
I can’t really think of anything else to write, so I think I’ll just press ‘publish’…
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SHAKESPEARE IN THE CITY.
I had a dream last night that I told someone I didn’t like the Beatles and then the world ended. I fear my mind might be wittier only when I’m unconscious.
So, em, it’s been a while. I was planning on being all proactive with my time off and doing a blog and lots of reading, but instead I just slept and watched Eerie Indiana. Total layabout. Hopefully I won’t be so lazy this term, haha.
So I’ve started my duties as ASM for A Midsummer Night’s Dream, and so far, it’s been quite quiet. Collected some rehearsal props, attended a read-through, but nothing spectacular. Next week’s sure to kick off though.
Sorry this is so brief, but I think I’ll perhaps start to write a bit more deeply on the subject once i’ve a) finished reading the play and b) decided everything i want to acheive with this role/module/whatever.
Laura.
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OH, FYI
who else wants to do first aid training? Venue tech and total dude Jev told me about this thing called ILA which gives you a £200-£500 ‘account’ which allows you to use on any course of your choosing. I was thinking of getting a First aid certificate and possibly hse passport, PASMA or something. Anyone got any recommendations?
http://www.ilascotland.org.uk/ILA+Homepage.htm
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I have been twittering somewhat incessantly this dull friday night, so I figure I should try to do something remotely constructive.
For the past week, I’ve been working as lx board op on the CPP 3 shows. for those not in the know, next week, groups of CPP3 students will be performing different shows every night. So far there’s some weird and/or wonderful ones. One of them even has a bit of live music from the scottish music students. I’ve been learning to use the congo, which was at first horribly frustrating, but i am now begginning to quite enjoy. I only wish we had a few movers and such so i could get a real handle on the whole thing!
CPP3 in contrast to Opera 2 is a lot more relaxed, easygoing and FUN. We work less hours (well, for this week at least), but I don’t think I’ve ever been sitting about feeling redundant, unlike the weeks previous to this doing the work for phaedra & ariadne auf naxos. I don’t have to JUST do lights, i help do all the other little things on the production and the crew is filled with ‘team spirit’ (for lack of a less sickening phrase); i think that’s one of the main reasons i prefer working on small productions.
The only real downfall of this allocation is that it is my ‘tsm’ allocation, and i’ve done little of the sort! Meaning that steve’s tsm classes may have been the final time I get to do anything remotely to do with flying. Now, I never had plans to take the subject and it’s probably my least favourite of the three production strands. HOWEVER, I’d have liked to get the experiencea, as it is the strand i am most ignorant of. Hopefully next year i’ll be able to do what Emma W’s currently doing with PLX…
Laura x
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DVSO AKA. MEVSMYSELF
I am feeling quite a bit of ambivalence about writing this blog. I know I really should write about it, but at the same time I really don’t want to. I think this is partially because I feel like we made quite a few failures as a group last week and as a result I’ve been feeling quite perturbed and testy as a result of it all – despite the fact I had a really relaxing, enjoyable weekend which even involved a few members of the team to some extent or another (ie.drinking at kirsty’s flatparty and dancing like a fool with jamie at the classic grand). I think returning to the Ath yesterday just brought back the unresolved tensions I had about the week prior. I’m hoping that in this post i’ll be able to get some resolve from the whole experience, and maybe start to not be so PISSED OFF as I have been of late.
Taking myself (what seems like a million years) back to the friday of collaborative week. That project was down, and I was feeling pretty good about the DVSO week, admittedly with a couple of reservations (which you can read for yourself in my last post) about it due to the trouble we had had with venue techs and time constraints (that is, nothing was completely ready on ANY end, which meant we had very little time to do everything in). However, I had something to draw upon and could at least try to manage the strain.
I think it’d be best to catalogue the problems I had into a little list or else this will get superbly stream-of-conscious:
- I’ll start with the most ridiculous: I kept forgetting the actors were techies too! It seems silly, but as soon as someone starts pretending to be someone else, I wrap them in metaphorical cotton wool. But these guys, they can move steel deck, they can focus lights, they can help us with some technical problems if they’re not doing anything at that point. I think it wasted a lot of time.
- I was finding it really difficult to keep calm when people irked me. There were points where I felt that the only possible modes of effective communication were raised voices, insults or a kick up the arse – which is obviously not a very constructive attitude at all.
- Half the team, including ALL of Team Sensible, save Fallen and I, were called into ASM roles and were therefore unavailable for every day except Friday. This left me with a lot to do, as Fallen was doing some of the more practical things onstage (quite rightly). It got to me quite a bit, particularly because when I asked for help I was told that every single person was doing a VERY IMPORTANT JOB, and could not be borrowed. I don’t think that was quite true, but hey, it doesn’t matter now.
- Now, I can honestly say I’m not normally a person to take pressure badly (I am totally in its fan club) but Thursday and Friday, especially, I was getting enormously stressed. It seemed like all the important things that should have been done, weren’t. I don’t think anyone was to blame as our team had been cut short and we all had a lot on our plates; yet, I was finding it hard to keep my cool, even at the most trivial of things (I was pretty much ready to kill the next person who patted my back by Friday, no lies).
In short, Friday was a complete shambles, largely because we had to fit what I’d wager about three quarters of a production week into five hours. It was really kind of heartbreaking; we’d been planning and working on this thing for quite a well and we had to keep comprimising and cutting things which i’d deem as necessary (being a designer must not be very nice). I just wish I could do the whole week over. There’s my ‘resolve’, hahahaha.
As I started writing this on Monday (and it now being Friday) I guess I’ll talk a little about the beginning of my new allocation – PLX Opera 2. So far, unimpressed. Maybe it’s down to a somewhat absent lecturer… I don’t really quite understand his function for us currently- is he meant to be teaching us? supervising us while Christine is busy trying to get through her huge workload? I have absolutely no clue. I just wish I was getting some proper knowledge about say, maintaining kit (wiring etc.). I’ve done all the stuff we’re doing right now… ADMITTEDLY, i’m a bit shit and really need the practice but i’m still quite frustrated. I see the TSM kids experimenting with automation and it gets to me and I can only dream of getting a whiff of something as genius as that!
so yeah, to quote a favourite tweexcore song of mine: Lloyd, i’m ready to be heartbroken. NIGHTx
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This week’s been a good ‘un, I reckon. One of the most ‘educating’ experiences I’ve had at uni, in fact, and i didn’t attend a single lecture after monday! Who even needs those lecturer types anyway? Apart from y’know, to ask us if we’re being safe and/or reflective, ho ho ho…
It seems futile to try and cover all that went on this week, and somewhat silly, as regardless of any ‘drama’ we had throughout the process everything came out wonderfully. However, for reflection’s sake, I’ll try and note down what the most important points over this ‘production week’ were like for me/the group:
- A Somewhat Rude Awakening: As soon as we all stepped into the venue, it was apparant that we all needed to collaborate together – not just in our seperate groups but as a year group. This hadn’t really struck me too deeply beyond attempting to make a production schedule with Catherine beforehand and getting laughed out the room by the rest of the production guys (HEED OUR V.RESPONSIBLE WORDS, NEXT TIME! ha). This prompted us to collect a couple of people from each group to convene and decide on our course of action. I feel as if we should have done this a few days prior – for example, it was pretty lucky that Grant had already printed out a big ground plan and mapped out where Team Zones would be. I think that my lack of foresight will definitely be a hindrance later on, so i need to work to try and improve on this. Additionally, Grant actually made a point that the fact that everything was unplanned was great as it allowed ‘organic’ experimentation. I agree with him, but at the same time I think we could have benefited from having regular meetings with the other groups, because the whole thing could have gone completely wrong.
- Compromise: Earlier on in this project, it was always thought Team Catwalk would be in a different room. Later on, this became apparant that this was not the case (which I am actually really happy about in hindsight) and they would have to share the Chandler. At this time, it did not seem much of a problem, we could shift the four pieces of steel deck they used into a corner and drop our jigsaw pieces down. This was another thing we had just not thought about beforehand. If we had done this, the event would have been badly sequenced and against the RSAMD’s standards ie. you cannot work on the catwalks in the chandler without people below wearing hardhats, and we certainly didn’t want to have to hand them to the audience on the way in! Anyway, our original idea was to have the jigsaw pieces hung all as a square all over the place so that, looking at them straight on, they appeared to be together. This turned out to be impossible for various reasons that I’d rather not go into, so we decided to turn it into a sort of ‘cube’, that surrounded the audience. It actually turned out to look really good, but a few people were upset about the compromise we had to make. I’d say, for this project, compromise is a success, not a failure on anyone’s part.
I’m sure I had more to say on this whole matter but the fact I started writing this at 4am might have had something to do with it. Needless to say, when it comes to time and memory, the former is a pretty formidable opponent.
Speaking of time, DVO next week worries me a little. It’s a really ambitious project and all the things that are finished/nearing completion are GREAT, but the fact that not everything ready for rigging/audience scares me a little. I think we’re all going to be a bit frazzled and the fact that us first year production kids are all quite loud and assertive means that there will undoubtedly be tensions. I just hope that any problems/fights that are sure to break out can be overcame with everyone’s team spirit intact. I, personally, will try to be on my best behaviour next week. I’m also a bit worried because I’ve put myself in a fairly important role as DSM, and i’ve been helping out Jamie a little recently with his production management duties. I’m not usually (or so I think) so keen to take any leadership role as I always feel like there’ll be someone who can do it better. Recently, however, I’ve been trying to force myself to try it more. Hopefully I’m not putting anyone out.
Anyways, I’ll stop rambling and stuff. good weekends to all.
Laura.
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this week has been hectic with meetings, classes and frenzied study in the library.
Tuesday was another one of Steve’s world renowned TSM classes. After a brush up on hardware we were handed a fairly awful ground plan for the criterion and told to go for it. I know that makes my previous comment sound sarcastic, but quite the contrary – this is my favourite method of teaching/learning! We were left to our own devices and in turn, we made our own successes and failures. The latter seemed to be our main ‘learning tool’ to be honest, as I felt we were without structure and made short sighted decisions, and as a result i felt despondant and uninterested. Additionally, I sensed a power struggle of sorts going on between some team members, and quite frankly i find that sort of thing repugnant and tried to distance myself from the whole thing entirely. As bad as I make it sound, watching and learning worked just as well for me, personally!
After the class we were offered to learn more about the automated flying system, but unfortunately i had lots of research i needed to do at the library and had to sit it out. I had a little fun looking at loads of books on the most obscure of subjects, and searching on the internet (in vain) for fringe accomodation for later this year. Looks like i’ll have to cut my list of choices by half as I can only afford to go to venues which offer free accomodation. No Underbelly for me, haha!
Wednesday and Thursday were spent with James doing PLX. Now as helpful as a lot of the classtime spent over those past couple of days were, i felt it was slightly problematic as particularly on Thursday, there was extraordinary amounts of sitting about doing nothing! I was getting really annoyed as i have:
a) lots of work on projects i could be doing,
b) hours of sleep i could be catching up on,
c) hardly any money – transport and food for uni is costing me (literally) hundreds a month!
my point is, getting all twenty or so of us in to focus lights etc. is not an effective use of anyone’s time. I feel i would have learned so much more if the group had been split into two groups and called at different times of the day. We would have been quieter, focused and engaged at all times as there would always be something to do. I love being at uni, really, i do (i view it as my home away from home!) However, I find it nigh on impossible to get a job and earn enough money to get into this uni in the morning as I am in all day, every day. This wouldn’t bother me very much if i felt there was always a reason for me to be there, which unfortunately, there isn’t, especially yesterday. Hopefully, some lecturers will cotton onto this and help a brother out, yeah?
Anyway, i’m running late for an appointment, so i best dash. BE GOOD.
Laura.
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Recent Entries
- tackling the inherent shortcomings of “OUR COURSE”
- A list of goals…
- 26/05/09 – 01/05/09
- 20/04/09 – 26/04/09
- SHAKESPEARE IN THE CITY.
- OH, FYI
- I WILL NEVER QUIT WRITING MY TITLES IN CAPS JONNO LOLOL
- DVSO AKA. MEVSMYSELF
- COLLABORATIVE PROJECT WEEK: POLAROID A-GO-GO!
- OCCASIONAL FRUSTRATION AND OTHER MUSINGS
- SM DAY 3 +4: GETTING TO KNOW YOU.
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